Mindfulness happens in any moment when we know and embrace how our body feels, what our mind is thinking, and where we are in that specific moment. We bring compassion to that experience. Once we embrace our experience our mind feels calm and ready to take on any challenge.

We often expect mindfulness will bring us peace or calm and relaxation. This highlights our human tendency to want pleasant experiences and push away what is unpleasant or average. We want something (i.e. to feel relaxed), we don’t get it, and then we’re unhappy. We think it’s not working or we’re doing it wrong. We start to judge our experience and ourselves.

Although it’s true that you can experience a sense of peace, calm or relaxation while practicing mindfulness, these are not guaranteed outcomes. Mindfulness is noticing whatever experience we’re having, including all the thoughts, feelings or physical sensations that are part of it.

Rather than remove stress, Mindfulness helps us to see stress differently. It may seem weird that something as simple as listening to sounds or paying attention to our breathing can help us learn to respond to experiences in a healthy way, but it’s what science is showing and what people are saying (and it’s certainly our experience).

Instead of trying to have a blank mind, where no thoughts are present, we learn to notice our thoughts until they disappear on their own. By just noticing thoughts and not adding more thoughts or a story around them, we give them less attention and become less affected by them. This is different from pushing thoughts away. Again, it’s how we relate to our thoughts, not the absence of them.

Accepting and embracing our experience does not mean agreement or complacency. It means acknowledging whatever’s going on, which is a good idea because it is already happening. We take action to change situations when appropriate, for our welfare and the welfare of others – but we do so out of compassion and understanding versus reaction and frustration.

Mindfulness practices are useful for all people, regardless of their spiritual or religious backgrounds or beliefs. It’s a human experience that utilizes the awareness and compassion that is within all of us.

When we are under stress or going through a difficult time we might look for ‘techniques’ to help us better cope. Mindfulness works most of the time, and you will get more out of it if you see it like sleeping -- something our bodies and minds will appreciate if we do it everyday. Based on many years of research, it is well established that in order to fully benefit from mindfulness, the best approach is to have a long-term goal.